The road to and through recovery is connection.
Alcoholism, addiction and pharma abuse results in isolation.
Connection and re-connection bring about the miracles of recovery. If you still believe in small miracles,
you’ve got a chance in recovery, but you’ll need to invest in your reconnection.
I’m writing for those who still have hope and believe in helping others and receiving the gift of being
helped in return.
It is a liberating feeling when awakening in the morning after not drinking, not drugging or pining for your
morning pharma fix. There is freedom and awareness available during every moment of even temporary
sobriety. With enough awareness you can discover life could offer better. You want to be present when
good news shows up at your door. The alternative is too many mistakes and regrets. The morning after
or ping of regret getting caught in a lie and lose, gives a rather bitter after effect.
**The resulting losses following alcohol and drug abuse gives one the dark attitudes which beacons in
disbelief and suspicion. After a significant failure, “Somehow you don’t invite happiness in without a full
body search,” David from movie Vanilla Sky.
Often when I’m getting a call from someone desiring change and giving that “sobriety or reducing
drinking a try”, there is a deep reason to change. Some people voice their true motivation to change and
some hide it under a life-changing event they’d rather keep private .. for awhile. But because their reason
to quit demanded such force or clarity of mind, if the listener fails to be struck by your statement of
change and not fall head over heals in amazement at such purity of purpose, the caller leaves the call
rather disappointed. And yet, the reason given is rarely the cause of their drinking or abusing drugs.
When I say: “I’m a recovery coach, what prompted you to want to change your use?”
“I want to quit because of my kids.”
“I’ve just had enough and my wife asked me to change. So I’m calling you. What can you do for me.”
“I don’t know what to do so I thought to call you, my family member / spouse gave me the number.”
My response is a simple recognition: “Your relationships mean a lot to you and you’re no longer willing to
allow bad attitudes and behaviors in between you and your relationships.”
“But you don’t know how you can keep drinking or stop drinking and maintain ..”
“That’s right. I don’t know if I’m ready to quit.”
“You don’t believe life would be better without drugs and booze, because drinking and drugs has been
such a big part of your life. It’s how you identify yourself, sort of.”
“Ya, I party, I drink, I do drugs.”
“Drinking is a big part of your social life, and you’re not sure what life would be like without them. It
doesn’t seem like any fun.”
“That’s right. But, I feel like I’m not ready. Shouldn’t I just want to quit instead of continuing to hurt the
people I love. My boss is telling me I can’t drink anymore.”
And so the first conversation goes back and forth until you arrive at the simple conclusion:
“I need help because I want a better life than the one I have currently. I’m open to change.”
Once we establish your willingness to change, we can get recovery coaching started.
Some successful ideas that help recovery are, keeping an open mind. New ways of thinking and living
will help you get a long way through recovering. A condition which sets people up to having trouble in
recovery is coming in believing it’s all about trauma, or bad parenting, or ignorance or whatever the going
trendy reason may be too narrow a view. Fixed ideas are mindsets that imprison your freedom of thinking
and therefore keep you addicted or struggling.
The Future You is Bright!
The way your future life will look is not like anything you’ve lived before. Simple actions will seem brand
new. Complicated tasks will be able to manage by you. Difficult decisions will be decided in a sober
creative state, envisioned in a successful future. Real emotions are desirable. You had not believed life
could be so filled with experiences and you’re not even drinking, on drugs or pharma. Life will charge you
So what’s the big deal with awareness? Isn’t awareness and consciousness something Indians, Guru’s,
wise people and yoga practitioners awe over? Yes, and so do students, apprentices, journeymen, actors,
mothers, fathers, sports players, desktop entrepreneurs, creators, investors, accountants people listen
to, builders, and more. Those who succeed at anything and everything are capable of perceiving where
and on what their awareness is.
Awareness and attention are nearly synonymous, but not the same. You see you can be aware that you
are aware. More import than this, people who know what they don’t know can dig out of traps far quicker.
Alcohol cravings, dependency and any drug fixation is a trap.
The alcohol, drug and addiction trap is composed of fixed ideas that you’re automatically or repeatedly
doing. But, you are either not fully aware of it or you feel you’re a slave to your craving or thinking
Remember, anything is difficult until you know what to do and do it several times. As you begin to gain
competence over an earlier “impossible task”, like thinking or not thinking about whatever you choose,
you break out of the grip of addiction.
The road out of substance abuse is through connection. That connection starts with yourself and extends
out to your immediate family, group, tribe, community and further.
Recovery starts with you.